中年人三大翻车现场:考卷、账单、体检报告
<section class="xmteditor" style="display:none;" data-tools="新媒体管家" data-label="powered by xmt.cn"></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;font-size: 16px;"><section class="horizontal-tb" style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section class="_editor"><section class="_editor"><section class="_editor"><section class="_editor"><section><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>01</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">小时候我无法直面三件事,突然间考试,被扣零花钱,要开家长会!</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">三十年过去了,尽管见识眼界能力,都和身材一样越来越宽,但冷静地想了想之后发现:那三件事好像依然是我的噩梦......</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">曾经涉世不深,与世界来了场殊死搏斗,上过当,吃过亏,买过三无产品,体验过卑微的爱情......如今叱咤风云独当一面,然而,无论你是老板还是老炮儿,当面对这三大恐怖事件时,内心仍然脆弱无力。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">三十年了,毫无长进。这尼玛怎么和我想的不大一样?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">很多人说,不怕空气突然安静,就怕老师突然的短信......我认为一个坚强的中年人,不能怕这个,你还得怕下班回家看到考卷,怕打开信箱时掉落一地的账单,怕家长会时速效救心丸不够吃,否则你一定是个 胆大包天没心没肺 不合群儿的中年人。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-ratio="0.474" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRdzQPIEibaeHibcU8xyFUwPhHhROv1T1whQQ3BQZUslgxjUE3O7evafSZueJVnt1eV3PjkT7LF2rCCw%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="500" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">考卷一展,闻风丧胆。<br></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">曾经,我十分轻视卷子上那个红红的分数,我认为凭我的优良学霸基因,儿子成为学霸只是时间问题。然而我猜中了开头,却猜不到结局。关键问题在于:孩子他妈并不是这么想的......我竟然忽视了这一座摆在我面前的大山!</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">每次他们母子俩由考卷引发的千丝万缕的纠葛,对我来说都是一场考验。插嘴,还是不插嘴,这是一个问题,总让我憋得面红耳赤。最后我选择打开电视看一集新闻联播,关注一下中国民生和世界局势。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">我心如止水地默念:“快活一秒是一秒,我不说话,岁月静好。”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">关于考卷的后遗症,难以控制。有时一晚,有时一两天甚至一周。孩子妈沉浸在由考卷带来的或兴奋或哀伤的情绪中不能自拔,从而引申出对我这个猪队友的一系列情商考验。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">而我慌张地等待下文,像一个害羞的姑娘等待心爱的小伙儿,既怕他不来,又怕他乱来,翻滚交错的思绪,仿佛一个压了全部身家的赌徒不敢看百家乐的轮盘。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">又有谁懂,我比任何人都更希望儿子能拿一个100分的卷子回家,那样我也不会被连带受刑了......</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-backh="219" data-backw="528" data-before-oversubscription-url="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicKPaiaDUvgOFllC4EblcHfJ2ABG4hbicGMH6cM6HwbiadASedOMosuDFWQ/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-croporisrc="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicEF1ErJQJPeFg08Bl0C2tSF4Ej7djgzuIr1ZPcDBfocEUlEzSkmk7MQ/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-cropx1="0" data-cropx2="528" data-cropy1="41" data-cropy2="260" data-oversubscription-url="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicfiacdobMKzKxticVQWribQh02TZZ8dV29IyOHiaAeiclgydbiajWKUQeaibcQ/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-ratio="0.4147727272727273" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicfiacdobMKzKxticVQWribQh02TZZ8dV29IyOHiaAeiclgydbiajWKUQeaibcQ%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="1056" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">与此同时我还要掩藏为父眼中的混乱,所以我眉宇苍茫,冷漠无情。<br></span></p><p><br></p><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>02</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">人到中年了,职场上如鱼得水,挥斥方遒,但儿子那一纸试卷带来的如龙卷风一般的横扫千军,却是我抵挡不了的。每逢他小测验,月考,期中考试,期末考试,我都失魂落魄如坐针毡手心出汗。我不但没有设置消息免打扰,还置顶了班级微信群。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-croporisrc="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRfeIroqy4rn18XapAtGbH5NvzEySmppussTPrQp86g7Htv3kSluaQxTuia7zAicOs5NL0h90exzBHeg/?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-cropx1="2" data-cropx2="500" data-cropy1="18" data-cropy2="265" data-ratio="0.4979919678714859" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRfs9UJlOSqX5JtFQDSXna5RqNHkr7zjZONAGTujjmmkn7G6WH5icibhKpotZ9LZywTOLaF0xicMs5nCg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="498" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">幸好孩子的分数终会过去,该吃吃该喝喝,这张纸时过境迁,便了无挂牵......但是,你的账单就不一定了。<br></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">账单一出,按时吃土。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">说到账单,它是薛定谔的谜团,只要不看,总觉得自己很有钱。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">别人的身价依托于道琼斯指数和期货大盘,而生活在上海的我,存款要看季节。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">你问我穷不穷,我会先问:“你是问寒暑假,报班季,还是平常?”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">“平常。”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">“对不起,我们中年人没有平常,全年有惊喜。”</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-ratio="0.42105263157894735" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRccuoM3ltPSn5EmibBeXHBTlGZp6XGCIPia14RS77HVl1bm9IuQ0Fn2k0ulPWIRHGg8ibTAwPPK4Xtnw%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="608" style="width: 608px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">7月的土最好吃,还添加了大排档款的孜然佐味。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">孩子放假了,天南海北的走一遭,孩子的母后一时兴起又席卷了几个兴趣班。<br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>03</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">说到培养儿子的兴趣,据统计每家每户总有一个人对此走火入魔,这个人大多数是女性。孩子刚会爬,搞个“抓周”仪式,儿子几经选择放弃了书本和算盘,竟拿起了一条手串儿。孩子他妈说这手串表面光滑,做工精美,形状统一,成规则的螺旋状,是难得的上品。这说明儿子今后的人生方向是基因科学或者量子物理......后来我们跑去MIT和NASA请回了两面锦旗。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-backh="300" data-backw="530" data-before-oversubscription-url="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRccuoM3ltPSn5EmibBeXHBTlMA3raK5Ll8b1U6674d4JmVHEkVGmcyRh7Du3h0MIbsFmOqvJrCFZHw/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-oversubscription-url="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicvLxUiczWd1CDneNtea5s1Ws7Iwuh3kUTcCSAGSicJg8WOkJ7koTS0vgw/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-ratio="0.5660377358490566" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicvLxUiczWd1CDneNtea5s1Ws7Iwuh3kUTcCSAGSicJg8WOkJ7koTS0vgw%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="1060" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">每年1月的土,带着自然风干的别样风味,添加些各色亲朋好友的加料,口味更丰富了。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">过个年,感觉半年的班白上了。我神态自若故作轻松,心里翻江倒海发誓下个月省一点!打开下个月的账单,明显感觉问题不在我,一定是通货膨胀了。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">吃土最是柔情时,更道天凉好个秋。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中秋报班季,续费季,别人花前月下,我在花钱等下月。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.5660377358490566" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRfs9UJlOSqX5JtFQDSXna5Rn0ia02SYGYNcffMcma3V23cuVY6QPJzwvdbAPWTW4Tx8ahbrXR2HARw%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="530" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">当你看到孩子的考卷火冒三丈,看到信用卡账单气急败坏时,同志,别急,冷静,此时最适合拿出你的体检报告看一下,然后扪心自问,你还配那么凶猛和倔强么?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">你只配软绵绵的躺在沙发上,来一杯陈年枸杞红枣,把小手串儿拿出来盘一盘,面朝东方虔诚念叨:神啊菩萨啊太上老君啊玉皇大帝啊。</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><mpcpc js_editor_cpcad="" class="js_cpc_area res_iframe cpc_iframe" src="/cgi-bin/readtemplate?t=tmpl/cpc_tmpl#1572594243305" data-category_id_list="1|11|16|17|22|24|26|27|28|3|31|32|35|36|37|39|41|42|43|45|46|47|48|5|6|7|8" data-id="1572594243305"></mpcpc><span style="font-size: 16px;"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>04</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">没错,体检报告是一个大功率灭火器,专治生命中的各种不屈不挠的顽强和不服气,教会了你什么叫Inner Peace!你要怀有一颗感恩的心。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">前几天陪老婆去做手术后最后一次复查,查完之后我对老婆说:“你再去做一次全身体检吧。”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">她说:“我不敢,万一查出什么病来怎么办?”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">“你不做体检就没病了?”我翻了个白眼。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">“晚知道点儿也好。”她眼波流动,神情温婉。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中年人害怕体检,就像小时候害怕打针,一点没变。只要不验血常规,便不知三高为何物,方可继续蛋糕烤串麻辣烫;只要不查心肺功能,便不怕血管爆表,还能继续吼娃拍桌和跺脚。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">得知复查结果非常理想,老婆顺手叫了一杯超大杯波霸珍珠燕麦奶盖三分糖。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="" data-croporisrc="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRfs9UJlOSqX5JtFQDSXna5RPUM8SmU9vadPcRa9yQJvhR8CgeNeXxOENy3kJqMWPGYNFoYNSyryzA/?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-cropx1="0" data-cropx2="500" data-cropy1="19" data-cropy2="293" data-ratio="0.548" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRfs9UJlOSqX5JtFQDSXna5Rfc1nT8fh9QdFtLwyvKSSOdBoxJyKpIjqsxmXLicpeC7ib7jyj0MBqEcg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="500" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中年人疑神疑鬼,总觉得自己的头发像蒲公英,清风徐来,飘然而去。每当Tony老师的一句“呀,最近头发有点稀呀。”就开始怀疑自己究竟是甲状腺结节还是肾虚。<br></span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中年人害怕体检,但懦弱不等于鲁莽。每当有个头疼脑热,对医院来说都是个大活儿。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">我的一个兄弟头晕脑胀加呕吐,一副孕早期症状,我扶他去了医院。挂了三甲医院的专家门诊,白胡子专家建议化验个血常规,我兄弟坚持要求来个医疗镇魂三件套,胸片儿核磁加CT。在医院一顿折腾,专家快疯了,一拍桌子吼道:“你这就是晕车。”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">知道自己没事儿,他头也不疼了,腰也不酸了,一口气爬六楼都不喘了。</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="rich_pages" data-backh="207" data-backw="499" data-before-oversubscription-url="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicBWqLswKZz0jKDicn95YJHxvqkoJEFJkOyVDDz2C0y4T4cCPvC7kfkicQ/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-croporisrc="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicSoLMbTC29IL7iaDb8zQoH3C69NhS6B196L74J736Deia5EPw8CoBGIvw/640?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-cropx1="1" data-cropx2="500" data-cropy1="37" data-cropy2="245" data-oversubscription-url="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_jpg/9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicl0ClUSz7kxzriavncNhic0fVDHRJ4z6Bu0DyxyoeDulgsr6icbDBnmC4g/0?wx_fmt=jpeg" data-ratio="0.4148296593186373" data-s="300,640" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRcCY0yr5iciaKaBboLyLP0bhicl0ClUSz7kxzriavncNhic0fVDHRJ4z6Bu0DyxyoeDulgsr6icbDBnmC4g%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="998" style="text-align: center;width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p style="text-align:center;"><br></p><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>05</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">前几天,公司里一片寂静,平日喝奶茶可乐吃外卖的兄弟姐妹都极为收敛。有人要辟谷,有人吃色拉。茶杯里竟出现了冬虫夏草和枸杞,下班了急着回家蒸粗粮,身旁0.15吨的妹子买了VIP健身卡。为何气氛如此诡异,办公室里的大姐告诉我——</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">这叫中年人突击性养生,因为下个月安排了员工体检。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">看见没?提到体检,一群五把长枪、破马张飞、睚眦必报的中年人瞬间就灭了。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">提到体检,那是你生活中无法放弃的</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">美颜滤镜,帮你P掉一切的烈火上房,泰山压顶,一地鸡毛。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">提到体检,那是一款惊悚的消消乐游戏,未了的心愿所有的执念涣然冰释。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">提到体检,那是灵魂的救赎,你终于可以理所当然的翻个身对云配偶说“我今天不舒服,家长会你去。”</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">仿佛昨天还在造作,今天就感觉身体已经不支持你活蹦乱跳,所有小布尔乔亚式的哀愁和汪峰式的怒吼都沉静了,终于迎来了岁月静好,人间值得......</span></p><p><br></p><p style="text-align:center;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.6653061224489796" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_jpg%2F9OzXrKN1TRfs9UJlOSqX5JtFQDSXna5Rk1ftiaFdBfYOzlsiaRoN79rqehlLM9WN2qA7wFicxvSwcGUIgQRzygHSQ%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Djpeg" data-type="jpeg" data-w="490" style="width: 558px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">很多东西都像青春的遗物,随着年龄和勇气的增长却愈发不敢直面。<br></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;"><br></span></p><section class="_editor" data-support="96编辑器" data-style-id="24761"><section style="margin-bottom: 10px;text-align: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;margin-top:10px;"><p style="color: #515151;margin-right: 10px;margin-left: 10px;letter-spacing:5px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;color: #ff4c41;"><strong>06</strong></span></p><section style="background: #ffdfdf;height: 12px;margin-top: -10px;"></section></section><section style="margin-left:-15px;width: 2em;display: inline-block;vertical-align: top;box-sizing: border-box;transform: rotate(0deg);-webkit-transform: rotate(0deg);-moz-transform: rotate(0deg);-ms-transform: rotate(0deg);-o-transform: rotate(0deg);"><section style="max-width: 100%;display: inline-block;box-sizing: border-box;"><img class="" data-ratio="0.9230769230769231" src="https://lymx.com.cn/source/plugin/csdn123_news/display_picture.php?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmmbiz.qpic.cn%2Fmmbiz_png%2FLjib4So7yuWhX6ACS01z0Ie7AjiaIQ7bJ20CWUR5Of07sOXbtjAQXRQs7DjJZUO3Nic49Mz5vA2cI3gJRSzKqCapg%2F640%3Fwx_fmt%3Dpng" data-type="png" data-w="13" style="vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box;width: auto;"></section></section></section></section><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中年人永远在给自己营造一种加西亚马尔克斯式的幻境,好像狍子或是鸵鸟,把脑袋插进雪地里或者翅膀下,就可以躲避现实的滋扰,一如既往地体面。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">中年人擅长伪装自己,在外上司和下属好像都得罪不起,回家孩子第二,老婆第一。曾经的我喝了一箱啤酒,为庆祝意大利夺冠在午夜的中环上奔跑。如今拆快递不小心划破了个口,快快,给我一个轮椅。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">时光太快,一脚踏入了不惑,另一只脚还没离开青春期,仿佛刚刚放下书包走出校门,儿子就来要家长签字,眼神仿佛在说:老爸,你能不能成熟点?</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">人生的考卷、岁月的账单、生命的报告</span><span style="font-size: 16px;">,就像此起彼伏的洪涝,试图洗掉中年人所有的不服。</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">有人说过,人总会走回父辈的路。我不理解,我捋一捋稀松的发根,手持电烙铁,打算给岁月来一波初露锋芒的时候,我爸默默的对我说:</span></p><p><br></p><p><span style="font-size: 16px;">“别矫情。我现在看的是孙子的考卷,儿子的账单,我自己的体检报告,比你的惊悚多了。”</span></p><p><br></p></section><section class="_editor"><p><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">本文来源:</span><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">格十三(ID:</span><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">GSSW13)</span></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section>
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